#erasedmom
I started this blog after searching the Internet for other parents like myself that were grieving for the loss of a living a child. Parents that were alienated by their child with the assistance of their other biological parent and the broken family court system. I searched for weeks and came up with very little. It was as though these situations are "hushed" by others and greatly misunderstood. So, I started this blog in hopes of reaching out to other parents like myself.
Last week I was watching a television show on Bravo, The Real Housewives of Orange County. It's a guilty pleasure of mine. We all have a few of those! Anyway, on this particular episode one of the stars of the show (Tamra Judge) was asked to speak at an event that is raising money for a documentary called, "Erasing Families." The documentary aims at raising awareness about what has become an epidemic in our family court system. Often during divorce or even years after, one parent will seek to legally separate the other parent from their child's life. Yet, even more disturbing is that some parents will back up their child's wishes without a blink of an eye. It's an endless rabbit hole that not even Alice herself could find her way out of.
The past two years of my life have been a living hell. I have beat myself up inside in every direction and the depression I had to crawl out of was an ugly sinkhole that near took my life. Going through this has broken me in places I didn't know I had and it's effected my family and even my friends. I have had friends tell me my son is just a teenager and he will come back one day. I've had them tell me to get over it and the list goes on. Well, I am here to say that all of you are wrong. Even if it was said in love, you are WRONG.
You see, it wasn't just that my son that walked out of my life and my little o'hana's life. It's that it was ALLOWED to happen by his father. It was financially funded by his father by legal paperwork, attorneys and a mediator. My son's decision was ALLOWED and APPROVED to happen by his father. How in the hell is this okay? How in the #@!* is it a good idea to allow and condone your child to erase themselves from the other parent's life? I didn't do anything to deserve this and I'm finally getting angry about it.
Parental alienation - It's a real thing.
One day my son was in my life, hugging me and having dinner across from me and the next day I was told to never contact him again. He was just gone. Completely ERASED from my life. After I watched that episode of the Real Housewives of Orange County. I immediately got online and looked up Erasing Families. Countless photos of parents and siblings and other family that have been erased in the same fashion that I was. Pictures of these beautiful souls holding up signs that read #erasedmom, #eraseddad, #erasedsister, etc. Their stories are heart crushing and I could relate to every single one! With tears rolling down my face I finally didn't feel alone anymore. I'm not alone in this and now I want this documentary to be completed so we can change the system and put an end to families being erased! I will soon be donating money and in return my child's name will be in the documentary credits next to thousands of others that erased their family.
September is around the corner and it will be two years since my son left my life. It will be 20 years since my daughter passed away. I hate you, September. My prayers continue for him to contact me and do the right thing. He's 18 now and probably starting college somewhere. I have no idea because his father shut all communication off with me as well. ...but if he is going to college, I pray he's living on campus so he can have the freedom to think and feel again on his own.
Until I hear from him I will remain here erased from his life. His sister and step-father will remain erased. My friends that love him are erased and so are the past 2 years we missed of his life. It's gone. Erased.
I'm a #erasedmom until September Ends.
Me and my son on his first day of school - first grade. I love you my sunshine. Forever.